Clik here to view.
Your Little Jessica is Clearly in the 58th Percentile
First Published in Defenestration It’s so cute, the way your little Jessica jumps for the bow in my Chloe’s hair. Jessica has good taste, I can tell you that! Jessica is…what? Three? Oh, she’s four?...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Find a Penny, Pick It Up and All Day Long You’ll Have Good Luck (Terms and...
*Lucky Penny must be found in the heads up position for activation of good luck. Any luck received from a tails-up penny is purely coincidental. Tails-up pennies are retrieved at your own risk, and...
View ArticleClik here to view.
The Enlightenment of Petty Thievery
In Grad school, I registered for a class entitled “Alternative Literature.” As an English major, I thought anything with “literature” in the title would be safe. My professor for this class rolled in...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Care and Feeding of a 40 year-old
Whether you’ve stumbled upon one, or had one forced upon you, you may come in contact with a 40 year-old. The 40 year-old might actually be you. Being a forty *mumble* year-old myself, I’m in a unique...
View ArticleClik here to view.
The Johnsons Have Gone Gatsby
First published on McSweeney’s Internet Tendencies, this is a skit likening bored suburban neighbors throwing Gatsby theme parties to zombies. It made sense in my head at the time. FADE IN INT. UPPER...
View Article